I wrote a chapter in a book
full with words
some pictures
and moving parts
and left it open
for you to read
and you saw
that all the words said ‘Love’
all the pictures
were of that smile
just before I raised my fingers
to your lips
and what was moving
there on the page
was my heart
and all the parts inside
Now write some words for me
my love
fill those pages full with things
so I know
our moving parts speak the same
here let me help you
I will hold the marker
and write these words
and these pictures of me
and the moving parts
of your heart
of course
what else did you think to show
that your heart is not enough my love
that and the parts inside
You want to be released
that is fair enough my love
I thought that was a smile
and yes they were not my fingers
I don’t even have any
but it was worth a try
you see I have much to learn
about your people
and your moving parts
no hard feelings
and good luck getting home
and staying dry
within this casket
at the end of my dream
so much to live in one night! very nicely told!
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wow!!! very powerful and full of feelings! great response to the prompt
thanks for visiting my place
loveNlight
Gabi
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very deep effort, leading to the openess of our imaginations…
nicely done
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Surreal indeed!
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I
N
D
E
E
D
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Nice writing! I particularly loved the first verse, it was beautiful. 🙂
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Cheers Susannah 🙂
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Well-crafted, wonderful twist, and the last line unleashes so many more possibilities. Really good response to the prompt,
Elizabeth
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Thank you Elizabeth. Yes sometimes less is more.
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Well written. I must admit the ending took me by surprise, and that is a good thing! Beautifully crafted.
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Great stuff Mary thanks.
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Your lover has freedom, LOL. Written well!
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Yes it was a LOL Diane. It was actually a struggle not to make him meaner.
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enticing with a great last line.
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Cheers Anthony.
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The twist was outstanding and the angle you came from in describing a “One Night Stand” deserves credit…I have written about same title before but the thought of this angle is amazing…Well done!
A good way to follow the prompt….cheers!
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Cheers mate. It was difficult limiting the details of the main character, but enough to suggest he was very different to you and I. And then there was the temptation to make him a robot or an alien, wow who knows!
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Not so surreal as all that! I had failed to read the title until the end, and imagined a real love story, blighted by the desire of your lover for freedom. I approve the “no regrets, go in peace” of the ending.
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Well the main character thought it was a love story! Thanks Viv.
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I like the way in which it changed to leave so much to our imagination and interpretation. Very well written, Shane!
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Glad you liked it Denise.
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