Was that the me that ran those four laps
getting stronger the longer I went
a close second me
a starting to get underarm hair me
he was a fast me
Was that the me that gave that presentation
with 400 people staring back
some nodding their heads
some nodding off
hands on chins
more nodding
it must have been hard for that me
to stand there for 45 minutes
all alone at the lectern
bright lights and blank stares
this me avoids speaking in public
so which me was he
Was that the me that was on TV
the HEY come to Andrew’s Electrical
buy a fridge
get a free microwave oven
and here take these wine glasses me
he was confident
a forthright big grinned me
he was a me that I would like to be
sometimes
a me with a place to be
Was that the me that slurred away
pointing an empty bottle of gin
at strangers passing by
busily stepping out of his way
because that me
a mottled bearded me
a yellow stained and black toothed me
an unwashed unloved unkempt me
he was a sad me
was he
Was this the me that got it together
got back on his feet
and into the saddle
a tomorrow on his mind kind of me
an 8 to 6 value adding
productive little
buzzing bee of me
the sun will come out for me
he was a proud kind of me
was he the real me
Which was the me that danced with you
my brown eyed girl
filling me up
my buttercup
you female god
you luscious swirling satin dream
tall and firm and sweating free
grinding and giggling onto me
giving it all to me
he was a loved me was he
this lucky me
Which me is on this metal grate
rolling into the cremator
a childhood doll rabbit by the side of me
and he and me in the urn
tipped out under a sapling growing free
so this tall tree is a me
and my leaves and seeds
travel the wind and seas
and all those little parts of me
go into fish and crops and weeds
into soil and other trees
that apple is a me
that water is a me
the dust that fills the air
making dusk a haze of reddish pink
is a me
and with every breath
you all pick up a little me
so now I see
that eventually
this search was to find an us
and not a me
Was that the me that ran those four laps
getting stronger the longer I went
a close second me
a starting to get underarm hair me
he was a fast me
Was that the me that gave that presentation
with 400 people staring back
some nodding their heads
some nodding off
hands on chins
more nodding
it must have been hard for that me
to stand there for 45 minutes
all alone at the lectern
bright lights and blank stares
this me avoids speaking in public
so which me was he
Was that the me that was on TV
the HEY come to Andrew’s Electrical
buy a fridge
get a free microwave oven
and here take these wine glasses me
he was confident
a forthright me big grinned me
he was a me that I would like to be
sometimes
a me with a place to be
Was that the me that slurred away
pointing an empty bottle of gin
at strangers passing by
busily stepping out of his way
because that me
a mottled bearded me
a yellow stained and black toothed me
an unwashed unloved unkempt me
he was a sad me
was he
Was this the me that got it together
got back on his feet
and into the saddle
a tomorrow on his mind kind of me
an 8 to 6 value adding
productive little
buzzing bee of me
the sun will come out for me
he was a proud kind of me
was he the real me
Which was the me that danced with you
my brown eyed girl
filling me up
my buttercup
you female god
you luscious swirling satin dream
tall and firm and sweating free
grinding and giggling onto me
giving it all to me
he was a loved me was he
this lucky me
Which me is on this metal grate
rolling into the cremator
a childhood doll rabbit by the side of me
and he and me in the urn
tipped out under a sapling growing free
so this tall tree is a me
and my leaves and seeds
travel the wind and seas
and all those little parts of me
go into fish and crops and weeds
into soil and other trees
that apple is a me
that water is a me
the dust that fills the air
making dusk a haze of reddish pink
is a me
and with every breath
you all pick up a little me
so now I see
that eventually
this search was to find an us
and not a me
Pingback: What are Barriers by Shane Genziuk | Sane but different
very constructive and creative writing…
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Loved this, Shane, especially the Van Morrison and Fill Me Up, Buttercup references. Using the form of the question (was that the me…?) is very effective. Nice take on the prompt! Here was mine:
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2010/10/26/this-is-the-mask/
Peace, Amy BL
Thank you Amy – great to hear that you enjoyed my writing – SG.
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Ruminating and illuminating at the end as well. Well done! The end point is an “us” not “me me me”.
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Thanks Irene, glad you enjoyed it.
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this appears kind of personal, I fully enjoyed it so many levels ending with us not me interesting take so many of us don’t see ourselves as part of a “we” but simply the better half of someone simpler. And if this a story pf personal ascension then congrats to the fullest sounds like you may have come a long way!
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Thanks Amanda. Can’t say I have anything in common with the character, except that I also have a rabbit doll and want him with me they turn the heat up. Kind of dislike this character actually, so confused and self concerned. Actually I might have more in common with him than I realise…..
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Some fine images in this. Interesting take on the masquerade concept.
Cheers mate, great to hear you liked it – SG.
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That was creative and dazzling, Shane. Reminded me of a street interview I had where I appeared on the news, LOL.
Sounds exciting Diane, what was the interview about? – SG.
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That was excellent. Deep and penetrating.
Thank you as always Anthony – SG.
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Shane, congratulations on a superb piece of writing. I was certainly not expecting the twist from the middle onwards. You have a great way of clarifying the past.
Thank you kindly. It was not the intention at the start to end the way it did, it just seemed to work out that way – SG.
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Shane, I’m lost for words… This is a wonderful, all-encompassing piece of LIFE! Really great writing!
Great to hear you liked it, thank you – SG.
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wow. this is moving shane – so beautiful!! 🙂
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