Hungry? Just grab it!
You see how it works, just like a vending machine. Sure it’s only working a few weeks a year, but nature doesn’t work on our timetable. She does it when ever she bloody well wants!
Here are some handy instructions to follow:
1. Approach tree with ripe fruit
2. Pick off the fruit you want to eat
3. Discard any feelings of guilt for not having inserted notes or coins – our fruit vending machine is free
4. Eat fruit
5. Repeat step 4 until:
A. You run out of ripe fruit
B. You eat yourself sick
C. Birds start pecking at your head to show you who the boss really is
D: You have more than one fruit vending machine running at the same time, which means you need to start all over at step one – you poor thing!!
Now how it works good is if you get yourself a whole heap of fruit tree vending machines, and chances are at least one of them will be ‘working’ at any one time. You get it!