I walked over the asphalt and concrete shell of a city, to get to you.
Towers of glass and steel make shadows of the sun, a billion tonnes
dug up from some far place, and brought to here.
How deep those scars must be?
A sky opens above cars and bikes and beeping horns, crowded with
seagulls fighting the ocean gale.
Lonely clouds appear then drift farewell.
Along a broken gravel path I travel, feet lost beneath weeds and tall
grass in seed, a green mat thinning onto muddy banks of loose rock
and brick, tin cans, faded plastic things.
Who coated your surface with diamonds, so bright that sparkling sun
drops stay on my eyes when I close them, leaning into an old wall in
the shade.
Faded city noise carries on the breeze, while geese fight over stale
bread; the bigger one wins and shuffles off, he barks, shakes his bum,
then stumbles off to eat.
You are water called river.
Most of me is most of you.
Take this most of me, take it away and filter it through, into your
darkest coolest most hidden places.
Then return it to me, refreshed anew, this most of you.
And for this I’ll return to sit by your side, and watch the weeds live
and die; show me your seasons.
It should be up to someone to show you that gratitude.
Nice imagery! Love it!
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Beautiful Shane.
Full of emotions.
Pamela
Great to see you here Pamela – SG
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brilliant imagery… beautifully expressed.
Many thanks – SG.
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A well-crafted response to being part of the world.
Some lovely rhythms.
Cheers mate – SG
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This is so interesting it starts of with beautiful prose then almost feels like a ballad this was a joy to read!
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Great to hear you enjoyed it Amanda. I’ve never been so deliberate about changing the style like that, and might keep exploring that.
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I love it – evocative and well-expressed, the long journey, the first sight of ‘river’, the longing to be more… Loved this particularly:
Who coated your surface with diamonds, so bright that sparkling sun
drops stay on my eyes when I close them, leaning into an old wall in
the shade.
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Yes thank you gospelwriter, that took a while to get there. I started off with a coat of diamond paint, then a sprinkling of diamond dust. This version seems more direct, less wordy. And that is almost always a good thing. Also had leaning against an old wall, and leaning into seemed more of a surrendering to the river and its surrounds.
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Great Images.
Awesome, thanks for stopping by – SG.
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Great imagery, your descriptors are strong, realistic to include the tin can and plastics… Yet, still you make it all sound so beautiful and as powerful as it truly it. Well done.
Thank you. I’ve found that it helps to include the everyday things within the story. Seems that it is easier to imagine the scene that way – SG.
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Well written,
Cheers!
Many thanks Emmanuel – SG.
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Terrific description, beautiful emotion. Thank you.
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Thanks Viv, great to hear from you.
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