I woke up today and found out that my old wish had come true
maybe it just had to wait it’s turn
for the wishes of other boys and girls to happen
My mummy and daddy were gone
I went outside and all the neighbours were gone too
and those noisy cars were gone
and the planes that always flew over the house and rattled my bedroom window
and the shops down the road were all closed
The other part of my wish also came true
outside there was a shelf with all the toys and lollies that were ever made
the shelf was too high for the birds to fly over
too wide for them to fly around
and as the the sun drifted over us
together we made shadows
Now my wish is two days old
there are lolly wrappers and toys covering the front garden
and the boxes helped to make pretend friends
with little cut out eyes
and I talk to them all the time
about how I miss having my real friends to play with
There was one other thing I forgot to wish for in my wish
a mummy or daddy needs to bury all the birds
and move all the pieces of ice
that keep falling out of the sky
Almost macabre but not quite. I like the surreal effect too. When wishes come true, we also try to un-wish those (is that a word?!).
It is a word if we wish it so. There were some lines I removed from this story because it seem to detract from the theme. There was something there about all the mummy and daddy legs sticking out of the ground, and from there it all got too bloody. Maybe when Winter comes back next year I’ll put them back in, because almost macabre is almost.
The child voice was an interesting departure for me, and “Now my wish is two days old” startled me — in that good way. Fresh, imaginative.
But the poor birds. Alas.
Yes Deb, those poor birds. One must be careful with ones wishes! – SG.
It would be nice for wishes and dreams to come true, but sometimes they have unexpected consequences too… Very nice, Shane!
Oh, that the best wishes would come true – this is a charming read.
Thank you for reading Susan, great to see that you enjoyed it.
Nicely written! Wishing for all good wishes to come true~
Thanks Mary, yes let’s wish for all good wishes – SG.
Don’t we all wish we could make thing come true? Well done.
Some thing yes! – SG.
this is real sweet and real.
I like how you frame the line, “and as the the sun drifted over us
together we made shadows”
Glad you liked it, was not so sure it fit myself so thanks for the feedback – SG.
A surreal image, exciting to read. I hope you woke up and found it was all a dream, like the cliché ending to a lot of childhood stories.
Hi Viv. As far as this girl is concerned it is a wish come true. It is just her, a gargantuan wall of rubbish that splits the world, dead birds and ice blocks.